"Bigame is having one wife/husband too many, Monogamy is the same."
- Oscar Wilde
A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.
- Gian Vincenzo Gravina
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
- Ogden Nash
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.
- Mark Twain
The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.
- Douglas Adams
I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
- Dave Barry
He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.
- John Mason Brown
I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.
- Galileo Galilei
Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
- Ambrose Bierce
Never tell anyone that you're: writing a book, going on a diet, exercising, taking a course, or quitting smoking. They'll encourage you to death.
- Lynn Johnston
If you trust Google more than your doctor than maybe it's time to switch doctors.
- Jadelr and Cristina Cordova
Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses.
- Margaret Millar
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
- Dr. Seuss
mankind minus one were of one opinion, then mankind is no more justified in silencing the one than the one - if he had the power - would be justified in silencing mankind.
- John Stuart Mill
The cure for writer's cramp is writer's block.
- Inigo DeLeon
Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty.
- Leo Rosten
The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority.
- Ralph W. Sockman
The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half.
- Fyodor Dostoevsky
I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe, and someone said I was a snake, I'd think, no, actually I'ma giraffe.
- Richard Gere
People often write me and ask how I keep my wood floors so clean when I live with a child and a dog, and my answer is that I use a technique called Suffering From a Mental Illness.
- Heather Armstrong
There are no such things as applied sciences, only applications of science.
- Louis Pasteur
A joke's a very serious thing.
- Charles Churchill
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.
- HP Lovecraft
In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.
- Andy Warhol
The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best - and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould
It is always the best policy to speak the truth--unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.
- Jerome K. Jerome
Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard
Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.
- Walter Lippmann
Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays.
- Oscar Wilde
Why do writers write? Because it isn't there.
- Thomas Berger
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
- Mark Twain
The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage.
- J. Jacques
"I have lost friends, some by death... others through sheer inability to cross the street."
- Virginia Woolf
"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better."
"Art is making something out of nothing and selling it."
- Frank Zappa
"Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing."
- Robert Benchley